For REAL…

Years have elapsed since I dealt with government agencies.

It’s a circus.

I never had a New York State driver’s license because I often kept my car at our family home in Connecticut.

Since I grew up in the Nutmeg State my license was always an automatic renewal as this wild woman never had a moving violation.

Insurance companies which are as tight ass as government bureaucrats sent a warm and fuzzy notice stating that if I did not have a NY State license by September 30th then they would consider me null and void.

Well, trying to get an appointment in Manhattan at the DMV is comparable to getting next day Hamilton tickets.

I spanned the website and found an appointment in Jamaica, Queens two weeks out rather than three months later.

Yesterday, armed with a dozen documents, we Wazed our way to Jamaica.

The estimated drive time was 43 minutes.

One hour and 39 minutes later we arrived.

The traffic was insane.

We had to traverse three thruways and circumvent a caravan of black buses surrounded by a flock of NYPD cruisers.

The fleet was bound for JKF with a big wig departing  the U.N. summit.

Jamaica was like being in another country…too bad it wasn’t the islands, maaan.

Fortunately, we had an appointment and only had to wait 15 minutes.

Additionally, I worked the system and did not have to stand in line to get a deli number.

We actually had the loveliest civil servants take care of us.

The photographer fixed my hair and recommended the best pose.

I had my electric bill, but since it did not list the zip code I could not receive papal dispensation in order to acquire the new REAL ID license.

Beginning October 1, 2020, the federal government will require your driver license or identification card to be a REAL ID in order to board a domestic flight or enter secure federal facilities.

I guess I will have to wait until I earn my REAL ID before gaining entrance into the White House to express my feelings to Agent Orange as well as borrowing some of those mood diffusers from resting bitch face.

But, I digress.

You need the REAL ID for airline security although a passport still serves the purpose, but for $35 more you receive the official star and flag which validates you as a true blue American.

Standing in line for my second photo, I was confused by the elderly gentleman ahead of me.

He told me he was applying for a driver’s license, but he was quite obviously visually impaired.

The drivers that were on the road yesterday must have also been visually impaired because several times their actions belied being sighted.

At the DMV Romper Room there were a few crazies screaming in line about being denied a hand gun and having to stand in line in his “own ‘hood”, but no one seemed affected by the rants.

Hopefully, I will soon be good to go and can put government departments in my rearview mirror.

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