Destroyed…

S.S. Destroyer…

Shit Show of a restaurant.

This new establishment (name references a comet) declared war on my taste buds, indiscriminately infiltrating my palate.

Destroyer

The compact place was packed…not a seat to be had.

Destroyer Menu

The line formed at the door, offering an opportunity to peruse the brief, minimalist daytime only illuminated Scandinavian menu.

Hayden Tract

David was out searching for parking in this newly renovated section of Culver City called Hayden Tract which was an industrial zone turned design district known for experimental architecture.

The ‘hood abounds with production companies and outlandish architecture, including the offices of the director Alejandro Iñárritu, Nike and Beats by Dre.

I selected  everything on the illuminated wall menu that was not meat or fowl.

Marinated Mushrooms

I ordered the Marinated Mushrooms with spelt, arugula, fresh cheese and seeds ($11). This was one of the most disgusting dishes I have ever tasted.

Hours later the gritty taste of dirt still lingered. The cheese clung to the mushrooms and arugula like drippy glue and the seasoning on the mushrooms was repulsive.

Rice Porridge

The Rice Porridge must have been leftover from the last touring company of Oliver. The bowl was attractive filled with gooey rice, burnt mushrooms, caramelized broccoli and puffed rice ($13).

The third horrendous offering was English Peas, Job’s tears, gooseberries and frozen cream ($11). Sucking on a lead pipe would have been more appetizing.

Securing a seat inside was impossible as there is only room for 16.

I found a curb outside, saving a patch of California cement for my hubby.

A surburban nightmare in a jacket embroidered with birds plopped down next to me.

I mentioned that the piece of concrete was reserved and she didn’t acknowledge me.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a patron vacating his table.

I ran for it.

Safe and secure we waited 30 minutes for the cesspool of food to arrive.

Lo and behold, who sits down next to us, but the self involved, bird embroided Peg Bundy with her mottled husband, Al.

David and I looked at each other and dodged.

Jordan Kahn

By the way, the chef is Jordan Kahn of Red Medicine fame.

Unbelievably, his resume includes the French Laundry, Per Se, Alinea and Michael Mina.

Everything from Destroyer is sourced from Kahn’s friends…are they sanitation engineers?!

Triple Berry Cake

Palate cleansing time…we drove over to Sweet Lady Jane Bakery on Montana Avenue in Santa Monica.

We joyfully threw ourselves onto a Three Berry slice of cake and cleansed our soiled palate, chatting with Maria Shriver and her daughter.

Sweet Lady Jane

Our day was not completely Destroyed, but our digestive system is still struggling to void the luncheon nasties.

Destroyer 3578 Hayden Avenue Culver City, California. Open Monday-Friday 8am-3:30pm. No reservations.

Sweet Lady Jane Bakery 1631 Montana Avenue Santa Monica, California. Open 7am-10pm.

 

One Comment

  1. Paula Lopez says:

    It was such a ghastly review that I laughed all the way through! It was a good way to start the day- I hope by next Tuesday you will have found a way to delight your palate!

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