TSA, Truly Stupid Agency…

photo:latimes.com
photo:latimes.com

Trump needs to fly commercial before he makes sweeping statements about throwing immigrants out of this country.

If he went through TSA security checkpoints at JFK airport in NYC or Los Angeles, he would recognize that if any group of people should be ejected from the U.S.A. it should be the morons who screen airline passengers.

Why go through the screening process to earn TSA Approved status if the stations are never open before 7am?

The screeners are there, but no officer to check your credentials. Please help me to understand.

A lot of good it does me as I usually take the first flight out.

TSA Precheck Logo ® blue text

Yesterday, we were directed by a woman at JFK who appeared to be in charge, down to the cordoned off TSA Pre-Check line.

The morbidly obese TSA agent stationed at the “regular peeps” line shouted at us in a high pitched, whiny voice, “Ain’t no one here. You blind. Go back.”

Charming.

We joined the line of ill-informed and clearly inexperienced tourists who were unaccustomed to stripping down for the security check.

The 15 novices in front of us literally performed a strip tease, removing each article of clothing slowly and methodically. I kept listening for the soundtrack from Flashdance.

After shedding the appropriate garments, they fastidiously rolled belts, jackets, socks and neatly placing them in the plastic trays as if they were packing their suitcase.

One older man could not understand where to place his hands once inside the tube which added exponentially to the chaos.

My boarding pass had a big red X on it to notify TSA that I was pre-approved. I was told to keep my shoes on and my computer in my bag.

Of course, this came across as a red flag and I was prodded into yet another line and told to take my shoes off and unleash the computer.

photo:aintnogood.com
photo:aintnogood.com

Then my carry on was confiscated and abducted to yet another station and literally sat unattended for 15 minutes while they found a TSA agent who wasn’t on break to search the bag.

I was curious as to how a break differed from the activity surrounding the x-ray machines. Most of the TSA agents were chatting to each other with mouths full of snacks.

Frustrated by the system or lack thereof, I stupidly inquired as to why the pre-approved line was not open and what time did it open. The answer was, “I don’t know…5, 6, 7am…maybe.”

To further exacerbate matters, Virgin America at JFK is in the International terminal and nothing was open at 5:30am even though there were hordes of passengers. Wouldn’t you think the International terminal would be vibrant and ready for business?

Dunkin' Donuts Green Donut
Dunkin’ Donuts Green Donut

The only open kiosk was Dunkin’ Donuts which featured red and green glazed donuts. I assumed they were left over from the Christmas holidays. The icing look as cracked as the Van Wyck Expressway.

I spent the rest of the time at the boarding gate, doing due diligence…checking for terrorists and emotionally disturbed Trump voters.

Someone had to be vigilant and do the job.

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